I suppose "Faux Fried Ice Cream" is somewhat of a misnomer, considering Fried Ice Cream is something one would typically order in a Mexican restaurant. Perhaps "El Falsito Fried Ice Cream" would be more to the point (Clearly, my Spanish is rather limited. To things like "si" and "hola" and "liso y sedoso." Which I think means "smooth and silky," if my shampoo bottle is to be believed).
The first thing we need is corn flakes. Probably about 1/2 cup for each person.
Crunch them up with whatever works. Rolling pin, measuring cup, bowling ball . . .
Not too much, though. You don't want them ultra fine.
Then add cinnamon. Probably about 3 pinches per person. Maybe more, if you have really small fingers. Toss the cinnamon and corn flakes around so the flakes get coated.
Oh, and you did wash your hands, right?
Now the ice cream. I hate to admit it, but I happen to really like cheap vanilla ice cream. Breyers always seems a little watery to me. And I know that probably says more about my taste buds than it says about Breyers.
Anyway this is plain old ordinary vanilla ice cream from Target. I also had the option of "New York Vanilla." If anyone can tell me what New York Vanilla is, I'd be beholden.
Scoop out what you'd consider to be a serving of ice cream - probably about 2 or 2 1/2 scoops - and form into a ball. Yes. With your hands. You washed them, right?
Next, roll the ball of ice cream in the crunched-up corn flakes. Get it completely coated, and then plop it in a bowl.
Drizzle it with honey. I think the honey is key. Somehow, it makes the thing taste fried.
Okay, stop spraying the Redi-Whip directly into your mouth. That's just unsanitary, and it's supposed to go on the fried ice cream, anyway. Spray a good dollup on there. And you know what? Sprinkles. Because you know they're just rotting away in the cupboard anyway.
And a cherry, obviously.
Bon Apetit! Wait, there I go with the French again. Enjoy.