Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ottoman Empire

So there I was at Target, attempting to purchase a toaster off my cousin's wedding registry.  We've already established that I have a thing for toasters, so it seemed like a natural gift.  Thwarted in my gift-shopping aim by the toaster's recall, I began browsing Target's aisles, which is a dangerous thing to do around this time of year.  One might get sucked into, say, buying a large leftover box of completely unneccessary valentine chocolates.  Not me, mind you, but some people might do that.  And they might eat more chocolate caramels in one sitting than one human should really be allowed to eat.
But I digress.  I happened upon an ottoman on clearance, which I felt was fortuitous since I've been wanting an ottoman for some time.  It was obviously not a Pottery Barn ottoman, but as neither my conscience nor my bank account will allow me to spend $900 on an ottoman, I figured it would do.
Ottomans are nice, because they allow you to express your own sense of style.  For example, if you're feeling studious, you might stack a pile of books on the ottoman.

Or if you're feeling sort of casual, you might casually toss a velour throw over the ottoman.

Or you could simply drape a string of weasels over the ottoman.  If you have a string of weasels.  Which I understand, not everybody does.

And of course, ottomans are nice for stretching out your legs.  And having your cat climb over you as if you were the Rocky Mountains.

But all that aside, I've come to realize that this so-called Clearance Ottoman was not the bargain I thought it was.  It did, in fact, come with a price.  And that price, my friends, is an assault on the olfactory receptors.  The thing stinks.  Reeks, in fact.  And since it's been around long enough to become a clearance item, I have a hunch that if the smell was going to wear off, it already would've done so.  So if you happen by my apartment any time soon, bear with me.  Understand that I am not doing aromatherapy experiments gone horribly wrong.  I am not housing toxic chemicals for the government.  I am merely debating the future of a very useful but very smelly ottoman.


Craig said...

You are becoming a prolific blogger. I love, "I am not housing toxic chemicals for the government", and "string of weasels". The ottoman's a beaut. I wonder if one could refer to them as a "'brace' of weasels"?

Sue said...

I daresay you could call them a brace of weasels. There are 2 of them, after all.
The ottoman has fallen further out of favor by infecting my throw with its noxious odor. And yet, it's so nice to have around. I can't bring myself to kick it out.

Christine said...

As much as I would love an ottoman, in my home, an ottoman would be excuse for highly dangerous kid stunt devil maneuvers. :-p